I don’t know…
You might feel the same way,
Then again, maybe not.
It just seems to me that majority of the social gatherings with family and friends during the holidays always consist of some pretty random conversations – NOT that there’s anything wrong with that. I actually think it can be very healthy to ‘play’ catch up with the people you consider being close with, but when that is all the gatherings are made out to be, I feel like there’s so much value/meaning that is left on the table.
Technology Isn’t Helping Either.
Really take a second to think about it. Now days everyone has a phone – some kind of smart device – from the youngest in the family (4 years old) all the way up to the oldest. What does that tell you?
What it tells me is that most of the conversations in the world are happening more through devices and less through personal (face-to-face) interaction – Major upgrade for commercial and business advancements – Major downgrade for personal relationships.
Speaking Of “Personal” Interactions.
I always notice that at most gatherings i’ve been to, whether it be with close family, at school, or even just visiting the neighbors, there are different types of individuals (When I say “types” i’m speaking specifically to the personality types.)
You have the “socially gifted“, those who are known to be outgoing and can keep conversations alive – forever. Then you have the “introverts“, those individuals who, right from the time they walk into the occasion, calmly find a comfortable location (MUST have a place to plug up their device) and quietly listen in on which conversations they want to pay attention to. And to top it off, you have the small group of “where’s the remote controller’s” (If you didn’t find that to be absolutely hilarious, i don’t blame you), those are the individuals who CAN’T miss out on their TV programs (sports games to reality shows).
What’s My Point?
Well regardless of what i’ve mentioned above, any situation where you can communicate with people you are close with are always beneficial in my book (if you’re willing to make it beneficial) . However, to take these special occasions to the ‘next level’, starting with this holiday season and moving forward into the future – I would like to propose one tiny upgrade that would spike things up for great memories.
It’s called “sharing your B-D-G’s”.
“What in the world is a B-D-G?” – You may be wondering.
This is something I learned from my business mentor almost a year and a half ago.
“B-D-G” stands for Brag, Desire, and Gratitude.
A Brag is something at present that you would like to be acknowledged for. A Desire is something that in the next 12-24 hours you desire to create/ experience (ideally it’s checkoffable and/or measurable). A Gratitude is something that in the moment you are truly grateful for.
Since i’ve been working with my mentor, I’ve felt that he’s instilled the responsibility to be a better communicator. Now you might not feel that is your responsibility, I get it, but this “B-D-G” exercise is one of the most powerful tools you can use daily to improve your communication with those close around you. It’s so easy to use you can teach it to your family around the dinner table and have everyone do it before eating, and you can even teach it to the UPS man when he drops off a package.
I remember the first time presenting this idea to my family (nervous as hell as to what their reaction would be). To my surprise, that day still stands as one of the most memorable moments in my life. I learned so much about people in my family that I would’ve never known, had we continued to do the things we’v done in the past.
As I mentioned earlier, the holidays are one of the best times to bring this exercise out because you’re most likely going to be around people you consider “close”, ya? If not, I feel its still a powerful exercise to practice with anyone your spending some kind of time with.
The only thing I would add is to try and plan out appropriate times to present the idea to your people (i.e. before or after a meal) , and you should also consider blocking out enough time for the exercise to happen because people WILL express themselves in ways you wouldn’t believe – No Joke 🙂
So my friend, this might’ve sounded like a “silly” exercise. But if this happend to make any sense to you, go ahead and take the next step, which is to test it out in the next couple of days.
Once you’ve tried it, come back and share your experience for others to see.