For-Dummies

Hmm…

How shall I describe it?

For starters, you might hate me after this post. Serious.

I’ll admit that this topic is an ongoing conversation I have with myself.

Oh! And can I also add…

…it’s definitely a topic that I feel people should re-visit more often.

Whether you agree with me or not, I’ll do my DAMNEDEST to get you thinking deeper on this subject.

It Has To Do With The “Fear Of Criticism”.

It’s so crazy how, once upon a time, my mind would create several alibis and excuses; all of them traceable to the inherent “FEAR OF CRITICISM”.

Something inside of me would say “you can’t do it” – “The job is too big, and requires too much time!” – “What will your relatives think of you?” – “How will you earn a living ?” – “No one has ever done that like the way you’re thinking of doing it!” – “people will think you’re crazy!” ,etc.

I’ve come to realize that the only way I ever achieved, or will achieve, in my life is when I believe ‘it’ within myself – first… and then from that point, place myself in positive situations that inspire me to keep moving in the ‘right’ direction.

Two Reasons For The Unaccomplished. 

1.) I never start, because of this idiocratic fear,

OR….

2.) I end up stopping early because I couldn’t come to a clear decision of what I wanted in my life – Independent to what others wanted for me.

Yes… It’s controversial to bring up this topic, I know!

But if I didn’t post this, I would label myself a hypocrite,right?

There’s Some Truth Hidden Deep Inside.

It may seem that majority of people ‘permit’ relatives, friends, and the public as a whole, to influence them in certain ways, indirectly controlling their lives.

When I sit down and take a serious look at this issue, I don’t really feel like it’s a matter of people “allowing” or “not allowing” other people to do certain things (Not in all cases).

I feel the deeper issue comes down to the conditioning received from  the traditional upbringings, and the entire mass media.

Use Your Life For Example And Really Assess.

Growing up, how were you ‘guided’?

(Don’t judge it as bad upbringing, just evaluate your situation without judgement and see what you come up with.)

When you were told to start/stop acting in certain ways (even though you’re actions might’ve needed to be adressed, and should’ve be addressed), were you ‘guided’ with the intentions of pointing out the benefits and/or disadvantages you were ‘creating’ for yourself, regardless of what others thought – OR, were you corrected with the focus being emphasized on how OTHERS might view you?

Two very different perspectives, ya?

Well it’s a tricky subject.

I just feel that majority of the people in our society  -act or don’t act – because we’re still caught up in the “what others might think about me syndrome”, compared to – “making authentic decisions for myself”.

It’s Happening All Over:

  • A large number of people make mistakes in marriage, stand by the bargain, and go through life miserable and unhappy because they fear the criticism which may follow if they address the issue. (I haven’t experienced this first hand, but I hear of the irreparable damage it does, by destroying ambition, self reliance and the desire to achieve)
  • Millions of people neglect to pursue the desired career after having left school because they fear criticism.
  • Countless numbers of men and women, both young and old, permit relatives to wreck their lives in the name of “DUTY”, because they fear criticism.
  • People refuse to take chances in business because they fear the criticism which may follow if they fail.
  • Too many people refuse to set high goals for themselves, or even neglect selecting a career because they fear the criticism of relative and friends who may say don’t aim so high, people will think you are crazy.

 

The “Fear Of Criticism”, In Such Cases, Is Stronger Than The Desire For Achievement. 

The more I think about it, whether it be viewing relationships, partnerships, friendships, associates, college, job searching, school assignments, business related projects, you name it…

I see that an individual is more likely to throw themselves under the bus, due to fear of what other people might think.

UGH!

Can It Be Too Late? 

The reason I stated that this is such a controversial topic earlier, is because many would say that you have to be open to the criticism around you.

On some level, I DO agree 100%.

On another level,  we DO NOT have to react, out of fear, to impress or even fulfill someone else’s wishes for you.

I would feel bad if this wasn’t a reality I’ve had to deal with in my life, but I do!

It’s going to be an on-going issue to deal with, but I want to stand for “authentic expression” – period.  

So To Make This Actionable, Keep This In Mind …

1.) Thoughts are literally things. Everything every created, started as a thought first, and was then turned into some actionable concept that could be created/developed.

2. ) Every great idea, every great invention, didn’t start out as a great idea, and tomorrow might even be looked at as an old worthless idea. They are all products of several ideas that some courageous individuals took action on and were able to acheive enough results to see if it was good or not.

Its all about haveing the courage to test ideas continuoulsy, regeaurless of what people think the outcome maybe.

NOTE: I’m not saying don’t listen to anyone or ignore the world. I am a firm beleiver that we dont have all the answers to our problems, and there is so much to be learned out there from other people. However, I am saying that the number one focus, before you take any actions or advice, is to find out what conversation you’re having with yourself thats causeing you to take those actions your taking?

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